How we say things is important. This may seem obvious, but give me a few sentences to explain where I'm coming from. We get into fights over what someone else said, how they said it, the words they use. Language defines our interactions and our lives. Certain words, certain combinations, can change the entire meaning of a statement.
We'll take the difference between "good for you" and "bully for you" into account. When I say "good for you" (obviously depending on tone and body language but we'll hold those in constant for this example) it's congratulatory and I'm happy for whatever it is. "Bully for you" is a little different--"bully" is British slang for good, nice, happy but in a bit of a different manner. In that sentence it comes together to say "good for you", but it's a little less happy, a little more "well, that's nice now gtfo". It's a little more "well, thank you for that information about their/your achievement in the face of my failure". It's a little more "well...that's nice". The difference is a bit of an insult aimed at the other person.
Time and again I have been criticized for taking language in commercials, T.V. shows, blogs, books...etc., too seriously. When we accept the above argument that it is important (and has started many a fight between married couples) then we can't just say that, in the case of putting down fat people or feminism or racism (or any other -ism), it doesn't matter that much. This is generally what the dominant group wants you to think--that they can insult the subgroup subtly and they're supposed to take it. I'm going to take a recent commercial I saw as an example.
In this commercial a woman is talking about her weight loss through Nutrisystem. She talks about how, even if you're fat, there's still hope for you. So, that means if you are fat then there's no hope if you remain so. There is only hope through weight loss and Nutrisystem can offer you that.
We've known for a long time that media heavily influences our decisions as well as our opinions of ourselves. The lie we all tell ourselves is that it doesn't affect us, that we're immune to the effects. We're not. Ad companies spend millions upon billions of dollars. This money doesn't go to waste. The main effect is the "mere exposure effect" that has proven that just seeing something more than once increases liking over a novel effect/object. As the models have gotten skinnier on T.V. so too have the rates of anorexia and bulimia risen among young girls. We learn through words as well as pictures and our language can be quite subtle. We learn, through the syntax and semantics, especially when words have more than one meaning, what is expected of us--we learn it all too well.
The point is that breaking down the language is important, as well as what words are used and where they are put along with tone and body language. It matters because it tells us what we're supposed to know. It tells us what others think. It tells us what is expected of us to belong--which is what we want most in the world outside of air, water, food and safety (and if you can tell me the source of that I'll give you a cookie).
If you want to learn more about this, watch Killing Us Softly 3, which you can find in it's entirety online (either through Youtube or Google Videos) and/or read Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf. In the end the best advice I can give you is to recognize the words that are being used and think about them. Usually the best way to counteract this effect is to critically think about things that you watch, hear or read. It's not fool-proof, but it's a start.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Being a Feminist in a Post-Feminist World
Currently reading: Enlightened Sexism by Susan G. Douglas
This is a tricky issue. Much of the time you hear the phrase "I'm not a feminist, but..." from women because in this day and age the belief is that feminism is over with. There's no need for it anymore because women are equal to men in all respects. There's also the fear of being labelled the ugly feminist, which was a concept that was created as part of the backlash against feminism. All of these are topics for another day.
This is a difficult world to admit being a feminist in. Men supposedly don't like this trait in women. I guess this would make sense. In an essay by Herbert Blumer ("Race Prejudice as a Sense of Group Positiion") wrote a piece on how racism is driven by the percieved loss of status by the top group. This can be applied to sexism as well. Men are the dominant group, the top dogs. If women were to gain power then it would percieved that their relative position would lose power. Men would react against this by trying to halt the rise in power. At first, in the 70's there was a proliferation of porn that showed violence against women. It slowly went away until it had almost dissappeared, or at least went back down to the previous levels as men acclimated. As women kept demanding equality, though, there was a backlash against the movement, one that was far more effective than the underground porn movement. They all said that women who were feminists couldn't get men if they wanted to, that they were man-haters, ugly, hirsute, bald-headed, flannel-wearing near-women.
So not true.
She's a feminist.
She is not a feminist.
Both are actually quite good looking. Men can be feminists, ugly or handsome. Women can be feminists, ugly or handsome. Your beliefs are not based off of how you look, but by your past experiences and teachings. Truthfully, there's probably a strong, positive correlation between education and feminist beliefs (i.e. that the higher education you receive the more likely you are to have some or all feminist beliefs) just like with liberalism and education. In the end, though, it's about being true to what you see is fair, even in an unfair world. It's about trying to even the odds out, when they are already skewed so much in favor of W.A.S.P.s in the first place. It's about being true to your wife, daughter, mother, cousins, friends, etc. and telling them their work and time is worth just as much as yours. It's about staying true to your golden rule.
This is a tricky issue. Much of the time you hear the phrase "I'm not a feminist, but..." from women because in this day and age the belief is that feminism is over with. There's no need for it anymore because women are equal to men in all respects. There's also the fear of being labelled the ugly feminist, which was a concept that was created as part of the backlash against feminism. All of these are topics for another day.
This is a difficult world to admit being a feminist in. Men supposedly don't like this trait in women. I guess this would make sense. In an essay by Herbert Blumer ("Race Prejudice as a Sense of Group Positiion") wrote a piece on how racism is driven by the percieved loss of status by the top group. This can be applied to sexism as well. Men are the dominant group, the top dogs. If women were to gain power then it would percieved that their relative position would lose power. Men would react against this by trying to halt the rise in power. At first, in the 70's there was a proliferation of porn that showed violence against women. It slowly went away until it had almost dissappeared, or at least went back down to the previous levels as men acclimated. As women kept demanding equality, though, there was a backlash against the movement, one that was far more effective than the underground porn movement. They all said that women who were feminists couldn't get men if they wanted to, that they were man-haters, ugly, hirsute, bald-headed, flannel-wearing near-women.
So not true.
She's a feminist.
She is not a feminist.
Both are actually quite good looking. Men can be feminists, ugly or handsome. Women can be feminists, ugly or handsome. Your beliefs are not based off of how you look, but by your past experiences and teachings. Truthfully, there's probably a strong, positive correlation between education and feminist beliefs (i.e. that the higher education you receive the more likely you are to have some or all feminist beliefs) just like with liberalism and education. In the end, though, it's about being true to what you see is fair, even in an unfair world. It's about trying to even the odds out, when they are already skewed so much in favor of W.A.S.P.s in the first place. It's about being true to your wife, daughter, mother, cousins, friends, etc. and telling them their work and time is worth just as much as yours. It's about staying true to your golden rule.
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