Rules of Feminism

I'm admitting for the world to see that when I was younger I used to tell others what would make them a good feminist. I want to apologize, as I was stupid for doing that. I grew up and attempted to learn what it really meant to be a true feminist, which is not telling other women what is best for them.

I often read fashion blogs. I love seeing the outfits they put together, and in my future career I will need to know how to craft an outfit. Also, they are beautiful and creating beautiful things. One of the problems I have run across for many of these women is that they are judged by others to be frivolous and self-centered. Those who are doing the judging are often older women who had to fight to get into the positions they did by using and exploiting the rules for me; dress conservatively, dress in pantsuits and suit coats, minimal colors, etc. That was what they needed to do. Perhaps another way to view these women who are coming in wearing bright colors and skirts and stereotypically feminine clothing (although men in skirts is inexplicably hot, or is that just me?) is that you have fought for the right for them to wear exactly what they want to and not be looked down upon.

I am not attempting to discount the fact that we still have a long way to go in gender equality for dressing for work; there are still women being fired for not "wearing the right clothing" when it is something men would never be asked to do (i.e. you must wear skirts, or makeup, or nail polish) but the climate has opened up so far.

My point here is that who are you to tell another person that their work-appropriate attire is not appropriate? I have been taught that the feminist movement was about trying to take the moral police words out of mens' mouths and throw it into the ocean for sharks to snack on, not to shove it into our own mouths and give new voice to them. When you tell another person that "that isn't true feminism" you better have a good reason to back it up, such as they are saying that every other woman out there must dress like me, or you, or her. That is exactly what was being done to us before, saying that if your waist and hips do not conform to this ratio you just belt yourself up into this device that will shove around your organs, or that women must wear heels and dresses at all times. Women must never leave the house. Women must have a child. Women must marry. Women can never have jobs-there were a lot of commandments. If someone is commanding you to do something then, by all means, take it up with her quietly and respectfully; there is another human behind that screen or face. If it is a simple difference of opinions then treat it as such by walking away and not making edicts about how she must live to embody this ideal.